Runway
Ready –
10 Tips
for Wannabe Pet Models and Their Pet Stage Parents
During the
course of this last year and half I, Carly, have been walked (or carried) down
the runway twenty-one times. Does that make me a fashion runway expert? Yes,
No, Maybe so. What I can tell you is I’ve been there, I did that, and here’s
what I learned:
Wannabe Pet Fashion Models:
1)
Nap between runway walks if you must but be bright eyed and
bushy tailed on the runway, which can be hard for those of us with little nubs
for tails. Bush it up as best you can.
2)
Work the audience. Cute sells and that’s what you are: a
salesDOG! You’re selling the designer’s clothes – be it clothes for humans or
pets. If you think you were brought on just because you’re cute and cute alone,
you’re wrong. You’re expected to do your job – be cute and SELL!
3)
Work your human co-model; you’ll get an extra treat or two out
of it. NOTE: some human models have an aversion to being tongued in the mouth
by a dog. Get over it, the reality is they probably don’t understand you’re
just trying to let them know you’re nervous and need to know they won’t drop
you on the runway. It didn’t help they saw you licking your butt. Humans notice
things like that.
4)
Try not to poop on the runway. It’s just not classy. Yeah the
audience will laugh, but your human co-model will cringe, the stage crew will
hate you, the designer will hesitate asking you back. Do your business before
it’s your turn to go on.
5)
Learn green room etiquette: Ignore the snooty poodle in the
corner. Remember it’s just a dye job; she wasn’t really born with pink tail
plumes. Only her hair dresser knows is bull, everyone in the room knows.
6)
Passing gas? No, that’s not remotely funny at home or in a
crowded green room. But if you can’t help it don’t give yourself away by
sniffing your butt. Just glare at the
poodle.
7)
Hold still for the photographer and look into the camera. And
pull that tongue back in your mouth as you just look stupid. Keep that slobbery
drool to yourself.
8)
No humping allowed. Save that for your stuffed bunny at home.
9)
Get over being taken from your parent and taken for a brief walk
by a stranger. Trust me, he or she isn’t keeping you. Most likely all they are
thinking about is how to get down the runway in shoes that don’t fit without
tripping and making a fool of themselves. Besides you’re probably not as
adorable as your pet parent thinks you are.
10.) Make nice
with the show’s creator, generally the clothing designer. That’s the only person you really have to impress…that
and the audience.
1)
Stay out of the way. Leave it to the professionals. It, what you ask. It, the photographer;
It, the clothing designers; It, the lighting and sound crew; It, the other
models, et al. The green room is not for a social gathering. You’re there for
this reason and this reason only: Your pet doesn’t have opposable thumbs and
can’t dress itself or change its own hair bow.
2)
Have your pet changed and ready to go on. Know your lineup. Then
sit and stay. Rollover on your own time.
3)
Bring your own dog’s favorite treats, potty pads, water, and all
the other essential stuff. Ever hear: Neither a lender or borrower be? Learn
it, know it.
4)
You think your dog is the greatest thing since sliced kibble.
Guess what? Your dog may be great to you but it wasn’t born a runway model.
Work with your dog outside of shows. Don’t expect perfection but if your dog
isn’t ready for the runway just blame yourself for getting blackballed from
future shows.
5)
Socialize your dog. Not only is there a possibility your dog
will bite the hand that feeds it, it could bite the lovely person assigned to
be its co-model…especially when that co-model is dressed in funky clothing and
made up resembling a Halloween spook. There are no forgiveness bites in the
fashion world.
6)
Make sure your dog is groomed. Clean, de-matted, and no eye
goobers, that’s just gross. How about some doggie toothpaste? The human
co-model will mention how bad your dog’s breath was and just may refuse to work
with your dog again. Understand the human model’s potential aversions (See Tips
for Pet Models #3).
7)
Did you feed your dog light and take it out to potty PRIOR to
the show? (See Tips for Pet Models #4). Your dog pees on borrowed Louboutin
shoes, well you’re on your own. There isn’t another pet parent in the green
room that will let their dog take the rap for that one.
8)
Don’t be a jealous hater. Guess what? There just might be
another dog model in the green room that’s…GASP…just
as cute and adorable, and as your dog. Yeah, your dog has competition. How to
make your dog stand out is something you might need to work on. Backstabbing
isn’t the way to go about it -- be better
than that. NOTE: Yeah, that dyed poodle in the corner has an equally fake
owner. Watch your back.
9)
Keep it real. The show’s creator is aware when you fawn all over
them. They are not impressed and fawning doesn’t guarantee you a spot in their
next show.
10)
Most of all have fun, when working a charity show remember it’s
all about the final good of it. Your dog isn’t Lassie, there’s no big
television contract in your dog’s future. It’s just a good way to help give
back and socialize with like minded people and pets.
For the freshest puppy breath try: Oxyfresh Pet Gel
For fashionable AND functional pet apparel & accessories for the runway or a stroll in the dog park see: Harlow & Grace Canine Couture.
Look for me October 10, 2014 on the runway for Beyond Pink, helping to raise awareness for breast cancer. Giving back...to those with fur and without!
